An Open Letter to Meryl Streep

My Dearest Meryl:

I don't usually begin my letters with such a flowery salutation, but I know how affectations are expected in Tinseltown.

Anyhow, my love, I trust that you won't get your feathers - or your gaudy sequined dress - ruffled (by the way, what on earth was Nicole Kidman wearing last night?) But I want to share my thoughts about your rather boorish acceptance speech at the Golden Globes.

First, it seemed a bit, shall we say, inappropriate for you to use the platform given to you as the winner of a Lifetime Achievement award to deliver a political speech... rant... or whatever you want to call that incessant and overly pretentious monologue of yours.

Don't worry, darling, I don't blame you. Marlon Brando started it all when he sent Sacheen Littlefeather to accept his Oscar back in the 70's. I totally forget what Marlon - or Sacheen, for that matter - was protesting, but it made for great television. But since then, people like Sean Penn and that God-awful Michael Moore have turned award shows into their own personal bully pulpits, which I'm sure you'll agree is quite gauche.

Speaking of "bullies", oh my dear, did you ever step in it with that one. You accused Mr. Trump of being a bully despite standing at the very epicenter of true bullying. Just to make sure, I looked up the word "bullying" in the dictionary and it was defined as "the practice of liberal elites in Hollywood intimidating conservative actors, directors and producers and threatening to blacklist them so they can no longer work in the film industry unless they keep their conservative opinions to themselves." The definition was even accompanied by a picture of an awards ceremony hosted by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association at the Beverly Hills Hotel... sound familiar?

Another thing, my dearest Meryl, I found your call for a "principled press" to serve as a watchdog that holds Mr. Trump accountable to be the most comical moment of the entire evening. Why, certainly you of all people are aware that there is no such thing as a "principled press" in America. If there were, they would have called Hillary Clinton on the carpet (no, not the red one) for compromising our national security by operating a private email server. Or for abandoning those four poor soldiers to fight alone and die on the embassy rooftop in Benghazi. Or for attacking the women who accused Bill of sexually assaulting them (we both knew they were telling the truth, but why let the facts get in the way, right?)

In closing, Meryl, your performance last night lacked a shred of credibility. You simply mouthed liberal talking points as if you were reciting Bernie Sanders' stump speech. And you chose to do so in the safest environment possible, where you were sure to be cheered for your "bravery". Give me a break, darling!

I so look forward to your next performance, you know, the one where you portray a put-upon Hollywood actress who is worth hundreds of millions of dollars but still deludes herself into thinking that she speaks for the rest of America.

As always, your devoted fan,

Dale