Geritol Joe's Grueling Schedule

At age 64, I hit the sack most nights between 9:00 PM and 10:00 PM. After sleeping like a baby, I usually wake up between 6:30 AM and 7:30 AM, depending on what appointments or events I have scheduled that day. For those, like me, who are a bit math-challenged, that’s an average of 9.5 hours of sleep every night.

Simply put, I don’t have the energy or the stamina that I did in my 20s, 30s, 40s, or even 50s. Sure, I still play two-hours of pick-up basketball every week, golf regularly, and on June 14th will attempt to play 100 holes in a single day for the eighth or ninth time. But with each passing day – and each new ache or pain – I realize that in horseracing terminology, I am coming around the clubhouse turn, approaching the straightaway, and heading for home… and I am cool with that.

I share about my personal battle with Father Time for one reason: I don’t believe for a minute that Joe Biden is capable of serving as President of the United States at age 81. And yet, Geritol Joe is asking voters to renew his contract for another four years, at the end of which he will be 86 years old.

Virtually every day, we still pictures of Crazy Uncle Joe walking stiffly across the White House lawn, stumbling up and down stairs, staring blankly into the camera, or stammering incoherently when his giant-print teleprompter goes on the blink. But just as often, we are told by Dr. Jill Biden or press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre not to believe our own lying eyes. Instead, we are told – with a straight face no less – that Sleepy Joe is full of vim and vigor... and runs circles around his much younger staff members.

Either the water pipes in the White House are connected to the Fountain of Youth or Jill, Karine, and company are lying through their teeth. Want proof? Below is a summary of President Biden’s official schedule for the week of April 1-7, 2024.

Monday, April 1 – Receive daily briefing at 8:00 AM; host Easter Egg Roll at 10:25 AM. No, seriously, that’s it.

Tuesday, April 2 – After such an arduous schedule the day before, President Biden’s national security brief was delayed until 10:00 AM so he could sleep in a little. He had no other meetings or public events on his schedule.

Wednesday, April 3 – Joe’s presidential briefing was once again delayed until 10:00 AM after which he delivered remarks about healthcare costs in the Indian Treaty Room at 11:00 AM… and that was it for the rest of the day.

Thursday, April 4 – Presidential briefing at 10:00 AM followed by hosting a reception for Greek Independence Day at 5:00 PM. Nothing in between.

Friday, April 5 – Following his national security briefing at 10:00 AM, Mr. Biden boarded Marine One for an aerial tour of the collapsed Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore - a full 10 days after it happened - and a series of statements and photo ops after which he flew to Wilmington DE.

Saturday, April 6 – No public events scheduled as President Biden rested at his mansion in Wilmington.

Sunday, April 7 – Ditto.

And for that, we pay him $400,000 per year?

My friends, the “Joe is energetic” ruse is the biggest hoax perpetrated on the American people since Edith Bolling Wilson served as the de facto President of the United States for 18 months while her husband Woodrow languished in bed after suffering a crippling stroke.

I don’t know who is running the White House – let alone the country – during all of Geritol Joe’s downtime, but it sure isn’t him.