Is Joe Biden Really Senile?

Common courtesy, a sense of humility, and clear biblical teaching all demand that, before pointing a finger at someone else, you should aim the remaining four digits at yourself. And so, let me begin with a few examples of my declining physical skills and mental acuity…

At the ripe old age of 62, I still play pick-up basketball twice a week, but my offensive prowess is mostly limited to taking 3-point shots from beyond the arc. On defense, it is virtually impossible for me to stop a younger and quicker opponent… and you can forget about me jumping to contest a rebound.

Sadly, my physical decline isn’t limited to the basketball court. My once above-average range at second base has dwindled to two steps and a dive to my left and one step and a dive to my right. And on the golf course, my drives carry just 180 yards in the air and then roll for another 20. Meanwhile, my two sons blast the ball 240 and 340 yards, respectively.

Mentally, I can still recall such essential facts from my childhood memory bank as Rogers Hornsby’s batting average in 1924 (it was .424) and the starting lineup for the 1969 New York Yankees. I can also remember the names of every elementary school teacher I had – from Miss Mewborn in kindergarten to Mr. Schmidt, Miss Coletta, and Mr. Pocius in 8th grade – but ask me the name of the person I just met 30 seconds ago, and odds are that I will look at you with a blank stare on my face.

Now that I have made you aware of my slowly diminishing skill sets, I think I have earned the right to turn our collective attention to the octogenarians who currently call the shots in Washington DC. OK, so Joe Biden won’t actually turn 80 until November, but does he not look – and act – the part? In fact, virtually every person I know who is in their 80s seems more physically fit and mentally alert than the 46th President of the United States.

The same can be said of Rep. Nancy Pelosi of California (82) and Sen. Patrick Leahy of Vermont (also 82). As the Speaker of the House and the President Pro Tempore of the Senate, they are second and third in the presidential line of succession after Vice President Kamala Harris. If that realization doesn’t keep you awake at night, I don’t know what will.

Leahy, who is finally retiring this year, has served in the Senate for 47 years. That means he was first sworn in when Gerald Ford was president and Saturday Night Live was actually funny. Likewise, Iowa Sen. Chuck Grassley has split his 47 years in Washington between the two chambers… and is currently running for re-election at the age of 88. Massachusetts Sen. Ed Markey (age 75 with 45 years in Congress) and Alabama Sen. Richard Shelby (87 and 43 years, respectively) aren’t too far behind.

So, if these power-hungry politicians aren’t willing to pass the baton and ride off into the sunset voluntarily, what can the electorate do? The obvious answer is to vote them out at the ballot box, but the power of incumbency makes that virtually impossible. That is why Congress, while enjoying a single-digit approval rating, boasts a re-election rate above 90%.

Then, what about term limits? In an ideal world where officeholders had the best interests of their constituents at heart, that would make sense. However, with the exception of people like Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, few people inside the Beltway think that is a good idea. In other words, I have a better chance of dunking a basketball or swimming the English Channel than term limit legislation has of passing through Congress.

And so, here is my radical, but increasingly necessary solution. Just like some states require eye exams and written tests for senior citizens to renew their driver’s license (it’s 70 in CA, 66 in CO, 64 in GA, and – drum roll, please – 40 in ME); why not mandate that every federal officeholder 70 or older undergo a cognitive test of some sort?

Start with some relatively simple questions such as, “Who is the President of the United States?” As an eternal optimist, I think there is at least a 50-50 chance that Joe Biden will get that one right… if you give him enough guesses. Then offer him extra credit if he somehow manages to spell his name correctly.

Obviously, I’m joking, but this is an extremely serious matter and a true national security concern. The nuclear code and the world’s largest economy are both in the trembling hands of a man who lacks the physical stamina and mental acuity to handle either responsibility.

Can you imagine Joe Biden trying to pass a rudimentary cognitive test without a teleprompter? Or Nancy Pelosi, sans alcohol, trying not to slur her words during an oral exam? And yet, these are the two most powerful people in the United States, bar none.

The bottom line is this: if these career politicians won’t release their death grips on our government’s reins, we must pry them loose by forcing them to prove their mental – and I would argue, physical – competence to perform their jobs. I am confident that, if they are pressured, there are enough senators and congressmen in their 40s, 50s, and 60s that would sign onto such legislation because, unlike term limits, it doesn’t yet apply to them.

So, let’s start flooding their mailboxes and phone lines with one simple demand: make Joe Biden undergo (and pass) a thorough mental examination to determine his fitness to serve as our Commander-in-Chief.